Welcome back to the final 2024 edition of Talkin’ Gaysball where we’re still waiting for “I Love L.A.” to namecheck Vaseline Alley.
When Walker Buehler struck out Alex Verdugo to close out the 2024 World Series, the Yankee Stadium DJ had a chance to pick LGBTQ fans’ spirits up by giving us the gayest possible ending to the Fall Classic.
But to borrow a sentence that appears in literally every single story about the Yankees in Game 5, they blew it.
As some of you probably know, the Yankees and their fans celebrate every win with a grandiose sing-a-long to Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York.”
Get off the sidelines and into the game
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It’s an iconic victory anthem and when Yankees fans belt it out, that might be the only time when it sounds like every word of “If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere” is four letters long.
That’s a great way to end a win. But for a couple of decades, you could forgive gay Yankee fans for secretly rooting for losses. Because from 1980 until 2001, when the Yankees dropped a game, they would play the version of “New York, New York” sung by…
After the final out of the Fall Classic, Minelli’s rendition would’ve been a brilliant choice to close out a World Series where the Yanks got outclassed by the Dodgers and blew a 5-0 lead during the clinching game with a barrage of errors and mental miscues.
While Liza’s “New York, New York” is a great vehicle for her incredible range and unmatched vocal power, it’s also a bit lonely and occasionally mournful, especially compared to Sinatra’s bombast. Minelli’s voice would’ve matched the mood at that moment in the Stadium — and not just for the gays.
For Yankees fans, this World Series was like swiping through Tinder in Hell’s Kitchen: night after night starting with so much potential but ending alone in their apartment cursing guys named Garrett and Freddie.
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As Aaron Judge and Juan Soto trudged off the field in defeat, Liza’s voice would’ve been the ideal soundtrack.
Alas, the story goes that in 2001, Minnelli got tipped off that the Yankees were playing her rendition after losses and was understandably appalled.
In perhaps the most Liza move of all time, she demanded the Yankees start playing her song to celebrate wins or get rid of it all together.
Once they heard that, the Yankees decided to drop her song. They’ve only won one World Series since.
The Steinbrenners had to learn the hard way what any gay in the city could’ve told them: never cross a diva.
Your Moment of Zen
Now that the Series is over, there’s one less fun thing to distract us from an intensely stressful and panic-riddled run-up to Election Day.
During this time, all of us could use every feel good humanity-uplifting clip that we can find.
With that in mind, I give you Billie Jean King holding the World Series trophy wearing a Jackie Robinson jacket — a sentence that reads like a Mad Lib written by Upworthy.
During a time of near-constant anxiety, that’s what it would look like if Xanax could annihilate Bobby Riggs.
World Series Thirst Trap of the Week
It’s Halloween, that beloved time in the community when Instagays throughout the world post thirst traps looking to strike the perfect balance between creepshow and smokeshow.
In commemoration of Spooky Season, let’s check in on the Dodgers locker room celebration and relief pitcher Anthony Banda…
Credit: Brad Penner-Imagn Images
I didn’t know The Purge came with a trophy. Or a six pack.
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